Plan for the Future - Funeral Resources for your Loved Ones

When someone dies, many questions need to be considered in planning a funeral service. Pre-planning a funeral is not something most people are comfortable discussing. However, by mentioning your preferences for the type of service you would like, you give those left behind a point of reference for taking those first steps. A funeral director can also assist family in making arrangements. A funeral is a service conducted with the body or cremated remains present, a memorial service can be held at any time after the death of a loved one without the body present.

Funeral Arrangements

Traditional funeral arrangements are based on an individual’s religion, culture, or personal lifestyle preferences. Funeral services based on religious cultures often include a minister, priest, or other religious leader, special music, and a eulogy summarizing the life of the person who has died. There is no right or wrong way to plan a funeral service but certain details need to be arranged to handle the remains and properly record the death. There are numerous online resources available to help families explore all options. The more details you discuss with family, the less stress there will be in determining what your wishes may have been when death occurs.

• Consumer Guide to Funeral Planning – This website sponsored by the Aurora Casket Company, offers an overview of all aspects of funeral planning. Information includes selecting a funeral home, various services and products and numerous helpful articles involving making funeral arrangements and dealing with grief and adjustments after the loss of a loved one.
• My Wonderful Life® – The website allows you to plan your own funeral service, leave important information concerning documents and other important items, share your favorite stories, upload photos, design your own memorial marker, and leave letters for your loved ones. Registration is free.
• Funeral Planning Checklist – Using a checklist before the loss of a loved one, makes keeping track of necessary information easier. Having a checklist also helps you or your loved ones know what details need to be taken during a time when shock and grief can make it difficult to make decisions. This page offers a checklist to be printed out. Just be sure to let family know where such a list is located.
• Funeral Consumers Alliance – This is a non-profit organization helping consumers to understand their right to affordable funeral services. They offer education and guidance concerning funeral services with numerous helpful articles in their website.
• Your Rights When Buying Funeral Goods and Services - On this page, The Federal Trade Commission provides information for consumers paying for funeral goods and services. An explanation of the Funeral Rule enforced by the FTC explains the right of the consumer to purchase only those goods and services they choose.
• What Makes A Meaningful Funeral – Details of a funeral service will depend upon individual wishes, religion, culture, or community. This website explores those things that make a funeral service meaningful and offers assistance in planning a funeral or memorial service.
• What You Need to do when a Relative Dies (PDF) - When a loved one dies it is often unexpected and family members may be at a loss in knowing what needs to be done. This document provides guidelines to things that need to be address immediately after a loved one dies as well as following the funeral.
• Prepaid Funeral Perils – This is a brief warning by a legal firm concerning the risks of a prepaid funeral plan.
• Funeral Traditions – Funeral traditions vary according to culture, religion, and individual beliefs. This site looks at funeral traditions associated with several religious backgrounds and cultures.
• Personalizing a Memorial Service – On this page is found some tips and suggestions for celebrating the life of a loved one. Through the sharing of stories, personal hobbies, and photos family and friends can have an active part in paying tribute to those they love.

Grief Counseling / Saying Goodbye

Though there is no way to determine how long the grief process lasts, there are guidelines that are usefully in helping to determine when a grief support group, or individual counseling may be helpful to move beyond grief that is interfering with daily functions. Just as there is no wrong way to plan a funeral service, there is no one way to handle the grief process. It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions from denial and disbelief to anger at the loved one for dying and leaving things unsettled. At times, several emotions may be present at one time. The best support for those dealing with the grief process is often simply a friend or family member that listens and offers a shoulder to cry or a hand to step forward. If grief begins to put an individual’s health or safety at risk, it may be time to seek professional help.

• Five Stages of Grief: Myth or Consequence? – This brief article by grief counselor, Jane V. Bissler, Ph.D., LPCC-S, compares differences between the acceptance of dying and the process of dealing with grief.
• Bereaved Parents – This website was started by a grieving mom after the death of her own child. Included in the information and support offered to parents who have lost a child is the Mourner’s Bill of Rights.
• The Compassionate Friends – This is the largest support network in the world for those who have lost a child and are coping with the grief process.
• Sena Foundation- For over a decade the Sena Foundation has been helping individuals dealing with loss of loved ones. This organization offers free support to those dealing with catastrophic losses.
• Grief Counseling – In addition to the helpful articles found on this website, the Good Therapy organization can assist individuals in finding a therapist or grief support group.
• Helping Children Cope with Loss, Death, and Grief (PDF) – This publication from the National Association of School Psychologists offers insights and tips to assist parents and teachers in supporting children through the grief process.
• Grief, Loss & Resolution – In this article by Lynn Mary Karjala, Ph.D., various aspects of the grief process is discussed. Several tips are given to help loved ones throughout the grieving process along with a reminder that everyone deals with grief in their own way and time.
• Grief Counseling for Children: When to Get Help – Children deal with grief differently than adults. This site gives information in what actions and behaviors are typical. Suggestions are given to help parents decide if counseling may be needed.

Committal of the Body / Remains

A committal service is separate from the funeral service and is held at the time and place that a body is placed into the grave, final resting place, or ashes are scattered. A committal service may be as simple as a reading of a scripture and prayer or may follow cultural traditions. It is important to understand different cultures, religions, and belief all are a part of the committal service. Military personnel can contact the Department of Veteran Affairs about information for committal service plans at national cemeteries or for burial at sea.

• What is a Committal Service? – This is a brief explanation of a committal service and an example of a prayer that is often
• Committal Service Information for Veterans – The Department of Veterans Affairs provides information about the committal procedures and services for veterans being buried at national cemeteries.
• United States Navy Burial at Sea Program – This page provides information about the US Navy Burial at Sea program and includes contact information for ports of embarkation and coordinators. A phone number for general information is also included.
• The Burial Committal Service – As a separate service held at the final resting place for the deceased, the committal service serves as a final closure to the funeral process.
• Committal Options for Burial – This page gives several options for the disposition or committal choice for either a traditional burial or committal of ashes after cremation. Committal plans will often influence the style and timing of other funeral details.

Service Program – designing the funeral service sheet

A funeral service sheet is a printed version of the funeral program listing the name of the deceased and funeral program details such as pall bears, speakers, special music, and place of burial. In addition to helping those at a funeral service follow the order of the planned program, a service sheet is often a last memorial many individuals keep to remember the friend or family member who has died. You can find free resources online to aid in designing a personalized service program. Including pictures, favorite quotes, saying, or poems can make an otherwise typical program a unique memorial.

• What is a Funeral Order of Service? – This page explains what is traditionally included in designing a funeral service sheet or program.
• Free Funeral Service Templates – This site offers free downloadable templates in Microsoft Word. These templates are easy to use and edit allowing you to create a personalized program sheet.
• The Funeral Program Site – Offers a wide selection of templates and memorials for sale that you can use to design obituary notices, program sheets, or memorials using your computer. There are a number of tutorials and design tips on this site as well.
• Much Loved – This website provides a way to design a free memorial to your loved one. You can add information from the funeral service sheet including music, poems, photos, or videos. Once you have designed the memorial you can the invite family and friends to view it.

Burial / Cremation – How to choose

Making the decision between traditional burial and cremation will depend on several factors. Traditional burial involves placing the body in a coffin with burial in the ground, mausoleum, or crypt. Cremation involves reducing the remains to ashes. Ashes placed in an urn or other container can also be buried in traditional locations. Other options are to scattered ashes over private land, places that were important to the deceased or scattered at sea. With a growing interest in eco-friendly options, green burial services are available that involve burial in a way that is as natural as possible. Choosing between traditional burial and cremation should be a topic discussed with family members when pre-planning your funeral wishes.

• Many Types of Burial Options – This site explores the various types of burial options; in-ground burial, above ground burial: community mausoleum, aboveground: private mausoleum, lawn crypt, cremation. This site links to site selling various funeral products and options.
• Catholic Burial Options: Which is Right for You? – Traditional burial or cremation burials are allowed in Catholic cemeteries. This article helps explore available option within the Diocese of San Jose, check with your local diocese for options in your area.
• FAQ about Cremation – Funeral Assistant offers answers to many questions about the cremation process including concerning regarding embalming, special permits for scattering ashes, internment options, and price differences.
• Bio Cremation – Bio cremation is an alternative to traditional cremation that is an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional cremation.
• Cremation: History, Process & Regulations – This report was compiled by the Montana Extension Service in an effort to answer consumer questions regarding the cremation process.
• Green Burial Options – Green burial options are environmental friendly. There are several types of green cemeteries including hybrid burial grounds, natural burial grounds, low-impact grounds, or conservation burial grounds. This site explains the differences of each and includes a FAQ page.
• A Greener Funeral – This site includes additional information and resources to eco-friendly burials, services, and products. Greener burial options include the use of green cemeteries, sea burials, or scattering of cremated ashes.
• Funeral Planning Choices – For many individuals faced with the unexpected task of planning a funeral, there is the question of what is the right way to go about planning a service. This site helps assure those involved in planning a funeral service that it is a matter of choice. There are as many options as there are individuals. Traditional or non-traditional or a mix of options are possible. Start here by becoming familiar with your choices.

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